B E T W E E N   F R I E N D S THE MAITRI QUARTERLY
January 1998	Volume 3.1	Maitri00@aol.com
P.O. Box 60111, Sunnyvale, CA 94086		(408) 730-4049

CONTENTS:
The Maitri Quarterly has a new name!
A Year Of Successful Outreach in India
Film Review - Kama Sutra
Asian Families and Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence Legislation Enacted in California during the 1997 Legislative Session
How Can _You_ Help Maitri?

The Maitri Quarterly has a new name!

We thank everyone for their suggestions. 'Between Friends' was a suggestion from Savithri(a Maitri volunteer) and we think it very aptly and succintly summarizes our ethics and goals. All our clients are assured of a friendly ear, complete confidence and uncompromised help.

We invite all our readers to give us feedback on our newsletter, including comments, praise or criticism. Please write us at our email/mail address.

If you have encountered domestic abuse within your family, friends or co-workers and would like to write stories/articles describing your experience, please get in touch with us by phone/email/mail - all articles will be subject to editing by the Maitri Publications Committee.

A Year of Successful Outreach in India

By Sonya Pelia and Devyani Abhyankar

"Why do outreach in the South Asian subcontinent?"

As the number of South Asians in the United States continues to increase, we at Maitri have long felt that our outreach and education programs must include the home countries to educate people about several issues. This includes the impact of domestic violence on immigrant families, the impact of two very different legal systems on marriages and divorces conducted across oceans, and the tremendous challenges of rebuilding lives far away from home, family, and support structures.

It was only about a year ago that Maitri reached a stage where we could initiate and implement outreach in the South Asian subcontinent, specifically in India. The outreach was initiated by taking advantage of Maitri volunteers' travel plans and contacts in India. The outreach was done using a simple plan: a major part was done using personal contacts, and the rest of it by simply reaching out to publications with wide circulation in India.

Cities and states covered in India:

With articles appearing in local newspapers in Mumbai and Pune this month, Maitri has now successfully done outreach (in local languages, Hindi, and English) in parts of Maharashtra, Punjab, Haryana, Himachal Pradesh, Rajasthan, Delhi, and Calcutta. Our outreach in India started in November 1996, with Chitra Divarkaruni, president and founding member of Maitri, talking about Maitri and the work we do here while being interviewed by the Indian Express in Delhi and local newspapers in Calcutta about her latest novel. The Indian Express ran a boxed item on Maitri alongside the article on Chitra.

In January 1997 we were able to follow up with additional articles, interviewing the Maitri general secretary Sonya Pelia, in the Hindi, Punjabi, and Urdu editions of the Punjab Kesari of the Hind Samachar Group. The Punjab Kesari enjoys a wide circulation in Delhi, Punjab, Haryana, Himachal Pradesh, and parts of Rajasthan. Sonya was also interviewed on a very popular Punjabi program aired from the Jalandhar Doordarshan Kendra. In April 1997, the Jalandhar edition of The Tribune (an English language newspaper published and distributed from Chandigarh) carried a quarter page on Maitri with our phone number, address, and the kinds of assistance we provide.

As a result of the overwhelming response (literally dozens of letters) we received, we began to look for further media avenues to spread the Maitri word. In August 1997, our India outreach was continued by the Maitri helpline coordinator Devyani Abhyankar in the form of a letter to the magazine Femina. This received in response over ten letters commending the Maitri volunteers for their efforts and a number of them also asked for assistance in the United States.

Another critical part of our Indian outreach occurred in December 1997 and January 1998. Articles interviewing Devyani appeared in the Marathi edition of Lokasatta distributed in Mumbai, Pune, Nagpur and Ahmednagar.

An article also interviewing Devyani appeared in Sakal, a leading Marathi-language paper distributed in Pune.

What the articles were about:

The articles focused on the issues faced by immigrant women in domestic violence or abandonment situations, the importance of reaching out for help, the agencies that can help, the types of help available, and the importance of being educated about a potential spouse's immigrant status.

The articles discussed practical issues such as the importance of checking the visa status of the prospective spouse, the difference between immigrant visas and work permits, and the waiting period in the home country if the prospective spouse has a work permit, green card, or U.S. citizenship. The articles also stressed the difference between divorce, child custody, and support laws in the two countries; reaching out for help by calling the police and agencies such as Maitri and Catholic Charities; and obtaining protection by calling the police.

Response from people:

Responses to the outreach have included letters praising our efforts, offering legal or medical help, and requesting assistance both in the United States and India. The newspapers and television station reported being flooded with telephone calls requesting contact information, if the Maitri contact information was not provided in the article or during the telecast.

We have received a number of letters from Indian women who have been abandoned in India after brief marriages to non-resident Indians or Americans of Indian origin. In most of these cases, the non-resident spouse went through a civil and religious marriage with full pomp and ceremony, accepted large sums of money and valuables as dowry, consummated the marriage, lived with the woman in India for periods ranging from a few weeks to a couple of months, and then, upon returning to the United States, withdrew the petition for immigration and filed for divorce. The women are stuck in India, in all cases shamed and humiliated in their communities and without legal recourse. In one instance, the spouse returned to the United States, applied for and received a divorce in a no-fault divorce state, and then mailed the papers to the woman in India without her being aware that any of this was taking place here.

In most of these cases, the only assistance we have been able to offer is referral to local agencies in India, if any, and suggestions to contact local lawyers to find out their legal rights and how they can proceed against the non-resident spouses in India.

At Maitri, we continue to receive numerous calls and letters from Indian women residing in states outside of California, who have been told about Maitri by relatives and family in India. We continue to refer these clients to South Asian agencies in their states, if possible, and if there are no agencies that can help them, we continue to work with them long distance.

Response from the Indian media:

Those of us who had the opportunity to approach the Indian media and be interviewed were impressed by the interest taken by the media on this issue. In particular, the media seemed to focus on providing helpful advice and solutions and not just stories of what could happen. All of us encountered reporters and editors who not only believed that domestic violence was a major problem both in India and among the Indians in the United States, but also believed that we needed to educate the public about the problems that could arise from marrying spouses living in another country with a very different legal system.

What lies ahead:

Doing outreach and education in South Asian countries is an extremely daunting task given the size of the countries and the populations, and we feel we have made a good start. We hope to continue our outreach into communities and areas not yet reached in India and expand our outreach into other South Asian countries. A part of this outreach will include Maitri communicating with and forming alliances with similar agencies in South Asian countries so that we can continue to offer assistance to our clients who choose to, or have to go back to their home countries.

Maitri Events from October through December '97

Oct 1	Maitri table at the Mission College Health Fair hosted by Varsha and Anjali
Oct 10	Sonya, Chitra, Noopur and Sujata are part of the Asian Women's Bridge celebrations
Oct 18	Talk on domestic violence at WATCH, by Noopur
Oct 18	Benefit dinner organised by the Asian Pacific Fund attended by Noopur and Sujata
Nov 8	Maitri table at the annual cultural festival of the Indian Students' Association at SJSU, hosted by Sindhu
Nov 10, 14	Maitri training for new volunteers
Nov 25	Noopur is part of a panel discussion on domestic violence at De Anza college

 Film Review - Kama Sutra
By Sonya Pelia

Film Director - Mira Nair
What was Mira Nair thinking? Talk about exploiting one's culture to sell a movie in the West. What makes Kama Sutra a terrible movie besides the fact it has no plot or dialogue, is the hype surrounding this movie, which has been generated partly by Ms.Nair and partly the Western media who would prefer to see us as the erotic, exotic Oriental. In the movie, all the characters mouth, in English, incredibly hokey lines from b-grade Hindi movies. Other than stunning jewellery, clothes, hunky-looking Indians, and fabulous locations, there is not much else in the movie. I stayed through the entire movie because I sitting in a center seat and was too chicken to get up and walk across ten people.

In an interview Ms. Nair said that the original story from where she got the idea lasts for the first ten minutes of the movie. Well, folks, get up and leave after that. The actors at times seemed embarrassed at what they were doing, Navin Andrews, in particular, comes to mind. Mira Nair also said in the same interview that the two main women characters were equally strong and in control of their lives. She and I were obviously at different movies. The two women spent the entire time trying to jockey for a position of power using sex or having nervous breakdowns due to lack of sex. And I thought we had come a long way. At tragic moments of the movie, the audience laughed because the moments were so farcical and absurd.

I finally figured out the movie about an hour into it. It wasn't a movie about India, Indians, the Kama Sutra, the Indian culture, or anything Indian. It was about a group of people who looked Indian, wore gorgeous 16th-century Indian clothes and jewellery, and were in a country that looked lushly Indian. It all made sense then.

And finally, I come to the question of the much trumpeted sex. Frankly, I didn't find any of it erotic because it seemed too contrived and the dialogues before (and after) the sex episodes were so bad that I couldn't pay attention to the luscious brown bodies and exquisite camera work. No, I take that back. I did admire the clever and tricky camera work during the sex scenes.

After the movie got over, a non-South Asian woman, seated in front of me, responding to my outraged outburst said it was Danielle Steele in a sari! That's it.

Asian Families and Domestic Violence
Reprinted with permission from The Alliance

The Death Review Committee of the Santa Clara County Domestic Violence County released its Final report on domestic violence related deaths during the period of October 1993 through September 1997. A "domestic violence related death" is defined as one where the perpetrator and or victim were romantically linked, either at time of death or prior to death, and the conduct of either party led to death.

Findings related to the Asian community attracted the attention of the mainstream media soon after the public release of the report. While the census shows Asians making up 14% of the population, Asians made up of 33% of the Santa Clara County's domestic violence related deaths. Of the cases 51 reviewed, Asians were represented in 17 of the total 51 cases. Nine were Vietnamese, six were Filipino and two were Chinese. In all but one of these cases, there was no prior contact by the victim or perpetrator with law enforcement, legal system or service addressing domestic violence. Many of these cases involved not only the death of the victim, but also the suicide of the perpetrator.

Despite the report findings, it should not be presumed that domestic violence is a problem more prevalent in Asian communities. Different reasons for the overrepresentation of Asians in this report is an open field for speculation. The factors involved in cases of domestic violence of Asians can be as diverse as the Asian communities themselves.

Stress experienced in the acculturation process, job stress and financial stress are all likely factors that could have had a hand in escalating domestic violence to death. Saying that any or all of these factors was the cause of violence, however, too easily shifts the blame away from the perpetrator, excusing that perpetrator for their violent acts. Nor does domestic violence result simply from a misunderstanding or an argument.

The basic mantra of textbook domestic violence theory is that it's all about power and control. Domestic violence occurs when an individual tries to maintain power over their partner through a pattern of coercive control and domination using physical, psychological and sexual attacks.

Another basic premise is that domestic violence crosses all lines of economics, culture and race. So despite the overrepresentation of Asians in the Report's findings, it would be improper to say that domestic violence is more prevalent in Asian communities. (Additionally, the Report only covered domestic violence deaths. Most domestic violence cases, running the spectrum from verbal abuse to physical injury, go unreported.) It would also be improper, however, to say that economics, culture and race, are non issues in looking at domestic violence.

It would be senseless to even attempt to address domestic violence in Asian communities without first acknowledging that domestic violence may be different within Asian communities. In its Final Report, the Death Review committee acknowledged that better outreach about the dangers of domestic violence needed to take place in the Asian community.

To reach the Asian communities in addressing domestic violence, "mainstream" methods for outreach and education may not be the most effective. It is important to take into account the fact that Asian communities in the U.S are in most part, made up of immigrants, 62% of Asian Americans were born outside the United States. (Percentages, of course, will vary amongst various Asian groups.) This immigrant characteristic often translates into barriers due to language limitations and fears generated from the immigration laws. Looking deeper at what this means may help us understand the Report finding that there was no prior contact with the system by either the victim or the perpetrator in all but one of the 17 Asian deaths.

Also given the continuing immigration, "homeland culture" is being brought to the U.S. continuously. Though there is no one identifiable Asian culture, a cultural value common to most Asian groups is the emphasis on family. The mere threat of a breakdown in the family, together with the lack of access to any alternative support system and other issues of isolation facing immigrants, may be part of the answer to why so many of the 17 Asian deaths were murder-suicides.

Findings from the Death Report cause every one to ask the question why Asians represent 33% of the reported domestic violence deaths. The question cannot be easily answered. The Death Review Report does, however, provide surefire ammunition to counter any denial that domestic violence is a problem within the Asian community. Hopefully, as a result of this report, efforts to make domestic violence information and services more accessible, will be stepped up by Asian service providers and providers for the community at large.

Domestic Violence Legislation Enacted in California during the 1997 Legislative Session
By Shantha Ranganathan

Some of the key bills pertaining to domestic violence, which will be effective January 1, 1998 are listed below.

Civil and Family Law
AB 200: Amends Sections 3004, 3011, 3020, 3040, 3161 and 3162 of the Family Code. Declares that it is the policy of this State that the health, safety and welfare of the children shall be the court's primary concert in determining the best interests of the children when making orders regarding custody or visitation; states that perpetration of DV in a household where a child resides is detrimental to the child; requires the court to state reasons, in writing or on the record, for awarding custody to a parent who is an alleged batterer, child abuser, or substance abuser.

AB 588: Adds Section 676.9 to the Insurance Code. Prohibits discrimination by property and casualty insurers based on DV status of the application or insured.

AB 649: Adds Section 10144.3 to the Insurance Code. Prohibit life insurers from discriminating against persons who are, have been, or may be victims of DV.

Criminal Law
SB 115: Amends Section 1377 of the Penal Code. Eliminates civil compromise in cases of DV.

AB 45: Amends Section 136.2 and 1269c of the Penal Code. Allows judges setting bail to set an amount necessary to protect the victim and the victim's family from further abuse; provided that interested parties shall receive a copy of DV restraining orders.

AB 102: Amends Section 1170.1 of and adds Section 667.14 to the Penal Code. Requires the court, in DV cases witnessed by children, to consider the fact that the crime was witnessed by a minor as a circumstance in aggravation of the crime. Recommends that the Judicial Council revise a specified court rule to add to the circumstances in aggravation of the crime the fact that the victim of DV was pregnant at the time of the offense.

AB 340: Amends Section 136.2 of the Penal Code. Gives a restraining order issued in a criminal case of DV precedence over any conflicting civil orders affecting the parties.

AB 350: Adds Section 6274 to the Family Code, and adds Section 646.91 to the Penal Code. Authorizes a peace office to request an Emergency Protective Order for a stalking victim in immediate danger, provided that the victim alleges that s/he has been stalked by the assailant and that the assailant has made a credible threat against the victim or the victim's immediate family.

Welfare Reform
AB 1542: Amends and adds many sections to many codes of the welfare and Institutions Codes regarding DV issues. Provides for development of protocols for handling cases in which recipients of welfare benefits are past or present victims of abuse, effective time limits on receipt of assistance, work requirements, educational requirements and establishing training standards and curricula for welfare workers. Urgency bill: effective on Aug 18 1997, however, protocols will be implemented on January 1, 1999. AB: Assembly Bill   SB: Senate Bill   DV: Domestic Violence
Source: California Alliance Against Domestic Violence - CAADV
1997 Bill Summary
California bills can be found at
http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/bilinfo.html and Current statutes can be found at
http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/calaw.html

HOW CAN YOU HELP MAITRI?

Please join our effort to end violence in our communities.
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